Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
