the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Life is so much better after having sex.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
