i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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