Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
