Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize