Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
