he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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