Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
