Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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