it hurts more in the daytime
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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