please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
