I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
