At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
