i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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