She said her name was "party"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
