I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
