Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
