bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
