Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
