does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
