I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its not stalking. its research.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
