i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
