I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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