He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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