We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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