I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
