Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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