She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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