david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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