After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
