you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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