its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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