I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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