id be glad to
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
