She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
