Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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