I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
