addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
