i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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