This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
