She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
