Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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