Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We had to coat check the pizza.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This baby is an asshole
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
