i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
