But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's blow job season.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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