u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
