I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
