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just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
