you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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