I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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