hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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