I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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