i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
