your thong is hanging out like whoa
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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