as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
