Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
