im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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