I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i think i just lost a toe
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
