We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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