Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
