There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
as a side note pls kill me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
