I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
