wanna go halves on a baby?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
