shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
