every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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