all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
